Rotund

Hello!

Goodness, 2 months have passed.

It was all going very well indeed, up until about 2 weeks ago...

We went on a lovely camping trip to the Yorkshire Dales, when I also thought I was in the early stages of pregnancy too. I'm not, by the way.

So I was into holiday mode, added with ravenous hunger from my phantom pregnancy, being a little chilly in the evenings (meaning hot chocolate and/or red wine, cake and dark chocolate, obviously).

I put on 5 lbs in two weeks. Which took me probably a month or more to lose prior to this. Ho hum.

This morning I received a wedding invite in the post for early November. It was from one of the friends from the town where everyone looks like they're out of Beverley Hills: 90210! The town where I grew up, the town that spawned a disproportionate amount of good-looking, successful, over-achievers. Groan.

I want to go, it will be nice to catch up, but I don't want to go like this.

I want to look nice, I want to look slim. I understand the two aren't mutually exclusive, but I'm sure you know where I'm coming from. Who wants to see a room full of old school friends whilst looking rotund?

I'm sure I've posted a blog like this before... yet still, here I am, repeating the same old rubbish.

Right, back to it. One day at a time. Track, track, track, blah, blah, blah...

Eating well but the scales are stuck!

I even put on a few pounds last week. But, I'm proud to say, I've stuck with it and stuck to plan (apart from a Sunday of badness!). A sneaky peak reveals I've now lost that random gain from last week. Which brings me to the same as what I was 3 weeks ago I think! Hmmmph.

2.5 lbs gone

I was starting to get a little disheartened with my lack of weight loss in over a week, but i'm very pleased to report I've dropped 2.5 lbs this week, which is excellent.

I'm especially pleased as I'd been beating myself up over eating more than my allotted 38 points everyday this week (although taking the excess from my 'weeklies')

SW: 244 lbs (17 stone 6 lbs)
CW: 234.5 lbs (16 stone 10.5 lbs)

Loss to date: 9.5 lbs

All is well

All is well here on the diet front. I'll have been doing Weight Watchers 3 weeks on Friday and have lost 7lbs in total as of today. Admittedly almost all of that 7lbs was in the first week and since then it seems to have stalled somewhat. I'm hoping that this is just my body adjusting and being stubborn, and that in a few days I'll have a substantial drop again. From what I can remember when I lost some weight a few years ago, my body did seem to follow this pattern- nothing for weeks then a big drop.

Starting weight: 17st 6lbs
Weight today: 16st 13lbs

38 ProPoints per day

Back In The Game?

Yes, you read it right, finally, after more or less a (gulp) 2 year hiatus, I think I may be ready for this again.

I'm prepared and determined for battle (sorry, that is really cheesy!)

I joined Weight Watchers online a week ago, and have since lost 4.5lbs. I feel my mental attitude has shifted- which we all know is what weight loss is actually all about, for most of us anyway.

So determined am I, in fact, that I have just created the scrumiest WW lasagne- all pointed, weighed out and ready to go. That's dedication, something I've always found rather hard to come by!

So, I'm still above 17 stone- 17st 1.5lbs this morning. My first WW goal is 16st 7.8lbs and I'm currently on 39 ProPoints per day.

Let's do this (sorry, again with the cheese!) :)

x

BMI: 35.3
CW: 17st 1.5lbs

So that's 2012 then

So here I am. 10 months later. Absence says it all on a weight loss blog, right?!

I'd love to tell you all how I've lost the weight, look wonderful and feel amazing. But I'd be lying.

I've no excuses to offer. I don't find it hard to lose weight. I'm not lacking the knowledge on how to do it. I don't have a slow metabolism or a thyroid problem. I'm not too busy. I'm not too socially active. I'm not too skint or depressed.

I really like food. I really like food. I love eating in, eating out, trying new things, revisiting old, eating for comfort, eating for pleasure, eating because I'm fed up, eating because I'm anxious, eating because I'm bored, eating because I'm celebrating, eating because I'm a 'foodie'.

I have a very lovely partner who loves me fat or thin, because he loves what's inside. I have some lovely friends and don't have any trouble making new ones. I get promotions based on my merit. I'm intelligent and creative. I am (seemingly) confident and 'bubbly'. I'm so much more than the number on the scales but...

My size 18/20 clothes are tight. I weigh nearly 17 stone. I recoil when I see a bad photo of myself (which is basically all of them). I prayed to god (or rather Michael O'Leary) that my seat belt would do up on a recent flight (it did, just). I feel lazy and lethargic and frumpy...

Yet still I find it hard to come to terms with the fact that I am overweight. It bothers me. I think about it at least twice a day, if not more. I have trouble accepting that I am fat because I am greedy and I have no self- control. I have trouble, in truth, accepting the fact that I am fat at all. I guess this is what denial is. I tell myself that I have no health problems, and that I carry it well, and that a BMI of around 34 is really perfectly acceptable because I'm only obese, right? It's not like I'm morbidly obese!, and that no one sees me as fat because I'm tall. I'll have just one more day of complete over-indulgence because tomorrow will somehow be miraculously different. Tomorrow I'll change my life forever and I'll eat macrobiotic, just like Gwyneth!

I need to go back to basics. My most successful weight loss attempts by a mile are when I've used the weight watchers-esque approach. I don't know anything about 'points' but I do know that when I allow myself a sensible amount of calories per day and earn extra through exercise, it works! When I don't beat myself up over the odd bar of chocolate I don't go completely off the rails- I just accept it, track it and move on. All or nothing does not work for me. I cannot sustain it and end up binging, sometimes for weeks on end.   I completely adopt the 'ah well I've blown it now' mentality and really go for it!

I wonder if I can retain this information for more than a day.

D'oh!

Hello my loves

Seems I have gotten off to a bit of a false start!

The last 2 weeks haven't been great. Not terrible, but, well, you know how it goes.

So, we just have to keep trying right? Never give up and all that!

Tomorrow I'll be walking to and from work; only a mile there and back but every little helps. I have the week's food planned out. It's really not the weekdays I have trouble with though is it!? It's my 'it's the weekend, let's treat ourselves' mentality I have trouble with. Dominos on Friday night, homemade meatball marinara baguette yesterday, followed by a chunky kit kat! (I know!)

I have 7 weeks until a family wedding, talk about leaving it late. Right then, let's knuckle down...