Weekend struggles

I've had a dreadful weekend diet-wise. I've gone way over what I should be eating and I'm disappointed in myself. The problem is my sister! She is 8 stone 4lbs. She, seemingly, can eat whatever the fuck she wants and not put on weight. She came over on Saturday with the kids. First things first- put the kettle Plumptious (don't worry, she doesn't call me that, I'd thump her!!) and out comes a cake she had leftover from a party. "Why don't you just have a little slice, everything in moderation?" Yes, that's fine if you're you, skinny twig, but I CAN'T do moderation, that's why I'm obese, clearly. I had the bloody cake.

Next I got out the butter and french bread I'd bought, as I know they all love real butter and aren't so keen on margarine. Of course Plumptious can't NOT join in by this point and tells herself 'sod it'.

And so it carried on. Culminating in them leaving at 1pm yesterday (after lunch at disgusting god it was good McDonald's as it's the start of the children's summer hols!) but me not being able to stop myself from buying Doughnuts and Cookies later on- which is absolutely not skinny twig sister's fault! That's all my invention.

I have to try stop that kind of behaviour. It is so completely unhelpful. Once I feel that I've 'gone off the rails' I give myself the green light to stuff myself as much as possible. I know it's ridiculous but I don't know how to unlearn it.

All I can do is stop today and hope that my weigh-in on Friday doesn't reflect the gluttonous weekend. Maybe I can be extra good this week and try claw back some of those calories. I'm having a low fat sandwich for lunch and a no-carb chicken salad for dinner. Wish me luck. This losing weight thing isn't easy is it?!

Scale nonsense

I'm not happy! I have not lost a damn thing this week, despite being on track, despite walking 4 miles yesterday and Tuesday, despite feeling thinner. I know this is turning into Plumptious's menstrual blog (sorry) but I still have no period, so I'm thinking this is the reason why. I'm a big bloated hormonal cow!

It's really bloody hard to keep going when you can see no progress, but I must.

Non Scale Victory!

I'm generally a size 18 at the moment. Although a few makes are still a bit small on the bottom half and waist, and a few tops are too big.

In March I bought some jeans from Primark. As they were only £6 I didn't try them on. I got them home and they were far too small- didn't do up by a good 4 or 5 inches, and I could barely get them past my thighs. I chucked them to the back of the wardrobe and thought I'll slim into them. (which didn't happen for a good few months)

Can you guess what's coming?

I pulled them out the wardrobe this morning and thought I'd try them on to see how far I had to go...

I got them on, past the thighs and got them done up!!! Woohoo! They are too tight and I wouldn't wear them yet, but they technically fit! yay! Really needed that boost today too as the scales have shot back up even though I've been fine with the eating and walking. Still no sign of 'that time' so it must be something to do with that.

Very happy. Can't wait for a size 16 pair of jeans!

Sneaky Peak...

...reveals 15 stone 12lbs this morning- how exciting! Let's hope it stays that way until weigh-in on Friday!

Success

I negotiated Saturday in a healthy manner! In other words, the binge was stopped dead before it even began. No big-fat-pie-stuffing-my-face going on here!

I am so bloated and heavy due to PMT, it's a right pain. My emotions are all over the place too. I never used to be like this, but in the last couple of years I really notice it. It's making me ravenous, which is also not very helpful!

Not much planned for today. I wanted to go for a really long walk with PP, but as he cycled 56 miles last week (!) he'd quite like a rest. Maybe I'll use the PMT card and say I *need* to walk to lighten my mood! ;-)

Hovering

I've been hovering around 16 stone 1lbs all this week. Let's see what my official Friday weigh-in brings tomorrow. I did see 15 stone 11lbs one morning which was very exciting.

I'm not sure whether to drink or not on Friday night. I'm thinking 'not'. We'll be staying in because we can't afford to go out, so there's probably not much point to it anyway. I know it's my downfall, so it would be sensible to avoid it as much as possible.

I'd like to go for a really long walk this weekend, perhaps along the seafront, which goes on for miles and miles.

Sweaty Betty

It's so hot! Beautiful down here by the sea, not so nice in London I should imagine, glad we're not living in the flat in the middle of the smoke anymore.
The chubby thighs are still causing a problem, but it must be said that the thinner I get, the less troublesome they are. At 18 stone it was painful, and I remember them being absolutley rubbed raw one summer :-( this year it's not so bad, but there's a way to go yet.

We didn't do our long long walk up on the hills, but we have walked around the town quite a bit and my eating has been saintly. It's amazing how the weight falls off when I'm not derailed at weekends by booze and 'treats'.

Another friend of mine put some photos up on Facebook from a night out about a month ago. I'm shocked to say that I don't hate them! For so long I've dreaded Facebook fatty photos appearing after a get together with old friends. I hate the fact that friends of friends (boys I fancied at school, people who knew me many years ago when thin) might see how big I've become and I have no control on vetting them. I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Not for much longer. These photos were not too bad at all. Yes, I look chubby and bigger than I was years ago, but I look ok. I don't look enormously obese like I did 18 months ago. And it can only get better, and easier to look at photos of myself as my weight goes down.

The scales are being buggers again!! Yesterday I saw an extremely low figure.... and then an extremely high figure! I must try to resist having a sneaky peak every morning!

Weigh In Friday

The scales ranged from 16 stone 2lbs to 16 stone exactly this morning. Very pleased with either really. It's either 4lbs lost or 6lbs lost from last Friday so I'm thrilled.

I really can not wait to see 15 stone something again. It's been about 10 months since I last saw it, and even then it didn't last long! This time it will.

So my goal for next Friday: I'd really like to see 15 stone 13lbs.

It's going to be super hot this weekend, so I'm not sure what will happen to the planned walking, we'll see how it goes.

Temperamental Scales

I got on them this morning (weigh in is not until tomorrow, but I just couldn't resist!) and to my absolute horror they said 16 stone 10lbs! How so?, it can't be right! So cue getting on a off an few times, when they said 16 stone 4lbs, gulp, why do they do this to me! Off I went to have my branflakes and I couldn't resist AGAIN hopping on just to see if I really was 16 stone 10lb and the last few weeks of being virtuous were a dream. I got on and 15 stone 13lbs people! So only an eleven pound difference then, sod those bloody scales of cruelty!!!

I have no idea what I weigh now. But the way I feel I am most definitely not 16 stone 10lbs. I just know I'm not. I'd say probably around 16stone 3lbs/4lbs. We'll see what weigh in brings tomorrow.

I'm avoiding social activities and booze again this weekend, and hoping to get some decent hill walking in again. I know that booze and bbqs are my downfall so none of them for a while.

Walking up hills

Have just been for a 4 mile walk up and down some very steep hills on the South Downs. I am rather pleased with myself. Must ty to incorporate more of these kind of days into my lifestyle.

Really glad I am on plan this weekend, it's exactly the kind of weekend I needed, no alcohol, good eating, plenty of walking. Might go for a bike ride tomorrow.

Weigh In

The scale said 16stone 6lbs dead on this morning. Quite pleased with that. I weighed twice so I'll take it as being accurate (bloody scales)

That means I've lost in the region of 3 to 5 lbs since Monday! (hard to tell as the aforementioned scales are temperamental) Very pleased indeed.

I hope to be at 16 stone 3lbs next Friday.

Day Four

Things are still going well. I'm very pleased with myself. I have gotten back on track this week and it's not easy to do.

Yesterday I had around 1500 cals again.

I'll weigh in tomorrow morning although my scales really piss me off! I had a sneaky peek yesterday and was very pleased with 16 stone 3lbs (omg!) but got on again a few minutes later and they tell me 16 stone 10lbs. That's a big bloody difference. Maybe I need to weigh in at Boots or something- or perhaps leave the scales in the exact same position all the time, as maybe the floor is uneven?!

I must also start taking more photos of myself. It will help spur me on and will be good to see the difference as I become thinner.